--Toll Booth Ownage--

• "I care; really." - When you pull up to the full service window, ask her about her day. Chances are she thinks she is way to good to talk to you, but keep asking anyway. Once she starts saying anything at all, laugh and drive off. This one always leaves you feeling like a hero.
  
• Brought Company - This one tends to work best from the hours of 1 to 3. When you pull up to the window, hand her the dollar as well as a paper bag full of poop or bottle full or urine. Chances are she will mindlessly take both the money and the gift without thinking twice about it. Drive off and laugh yourself to tears imagining the look on her face when she realizes what she will be spending the rest of her shift with.
  
• Quarters = Bad - I tend to like this one because it doesn't require too much effort on my part. It works exactly like "Brought Company" except instead of handing over a sample of your excrements, you simply attach a picture of something that will make the act of touching quarters nauseating for the rest of the day. To make this easier on you, I have provided a sample picture, feel free to use it:
  
  
  I pray that I never go to prison
  
• Put That Jr. High Education to Work - This may be preferable to those of you who think that working at a toll booth doesn't require enough problem solving. First off, tape together 5 pieces of 5 different 5 dollar bills and give that to her. If she seems able to process this complicated information than you must improvise! Ask for change in a combination of 50 cent pieces, nickles, dimes, and an off number of quarters. If she somehow pulls through the second faze than you must tell her she is wrong and have her recount the money, do this as many times as necessary. Once you tire of this, hand her a bottle of your pee and drive off.