Lord Tony's Dojo - The only page without a HUGE filler bar

--The Best Tattoo Ever--

Inked Up:
Morons get stupid tattoos. It's a fact. I can't help but notice that more and more people, namely 15 year old girls, are getting tattoos of unicorns. "Hey mom? Why is there a unicorn tattooed on your face?" I can see her kids asking several years after she gets knocked up by the whole football team. If you are going to engrave something into your flesh, at least make it awesome. Tribal tattoos also suck. I can't believe someone would pay 100 bucks to permanently put some improvised bull crap on your back that could be done with a permanent marker. Tribal tattoos don't mean crap either. They look cool (or so people seem to think). You say it is a "tribal" tattoo? What "tribe" are you from? I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you have no "tribe" or for that matter you are just some Styrofoam-for-brains who wants to jump on the band wagon with every other skinny bald loser out there. I am going to get a real tattoo. None of that sissy stereotype crap will due for me. My tattoo will be on my chest, abs, and maybe a part or two sticking out on my neck. it will feature the Nestea snowman fighting with a ninja on that bridge level of mortal combat. My right nipple will be the moon, and there will be a few clouds overshadowing it. Over the other nipple will be Bill Rizer holding onto a missile that is soaring onto the bridge in which the snowman and ninja are locked in hand to sword combat. Then from below the bridge there will be a giant skeletal hand reaching for the ninja and grabbing his leg, but the ninja doesn't even care. He is out for snowman blood. Just in case all of that isn't enough, there is a hot pixie chick on my neck with a 42 inch bust, full pouting lips, and tattered clothing crying over the fate of the fight at hand. Then Somewhere near where my pant line is, amongst the spikes under the bridge, there is that sweet dude from Slim Jim commercials eating a Slim Jim wrapped in beef jerky. And finally, to top it all off, there is the lead singer of Linkin Park impailed on the spikes under the bridge of which the entire art piece is focused. Holy crap! I just reread that and it almost made me crap my pants. I friggin' love this job. I assume the entire process will take an upwards of 500 hours of tattooing. Trust me, I won't even bleed, bleeding is for sucks.

Contest No One Will Bother With of the Day:
Draw me a picture of that tattoo, and if I like it, I'll go right then and get the ink. No questions asked. Your drawing will also be placed right here. That alone is motivation enough to draw this thing.